Stepping Heavenward

2006-08-10

A bad Jonah month...

Have you ever had a 'Jonah Day'? Days when things are bleak, uninteresting, depressing and seem to stretch on forever and ever? I get them often. Actually,this last MONTH has been pretty dreadful. It's dragged by at a madening slow rate and it's been hard to get through and stay floating. It seems like everything has hit me at once...new waves of homesickness, longing to see Ben, Shae, Margaret and everybody else in Australia...and the fact that most of my closest friends all live over seas in different countries hasn't helped these despondent feelings.

An alarming number of friends I do have here in Waterford are moving away (could it be because of me?!? *grin*) And to make matters even worse, I haven't been normal with the beautiful friends God has blessed me with. I have been distant from them, jealous of them for various reasons and a little cold towards them.

What on earth is wrong with me?

My lessons are getting increasingly hard-I can't write fractions in print let alone Braille...
I am bored... I've been a perfect grump...

STOP THE WORLD, I WANT TO GET OFF!!

Things seem to build up and threaten to spill over...but I have realised that just before everything floods over and threatens to overwhelm me God reaches out and touches me gently on the shoulder. "Cel, I know it's hard. I understand all your pain and hurt. But I am here for you. Always."

Hebrews 4:15,16 tells us that we have God who can sympathize with our weakness and pain. After all, He left all the glory of Heaven to come down here to earth and become a man-for US! Since He became human (yet still God as well!) He experianced pain and grief and hurt just as we do. That's how His love is so real.

When I talk to God about all these problems the pain doesn't magically disapear. Life doesn't become a bed of roses...but I can feel God and I trust Him to help me cope with whatever is thrown at me.

I'm hoping that the Jonah days/weeks/month is about over. I'm trying to see the silver lining on the edge of the cloud. But in the mean time I'll package up my Jonah days and send them air mail to God.

-Cel

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